The Scandal of Scandal in Washington

Chris Weyant / The Hill, Cagle CartoonsIf you listen loud enough you can almost hear the siren song of the Republican Party spread its dulcet tones across Washington. It's scandal season boys and girls, and for the GOP, unless you're too busy to party because you're in line to be Newt Gingrich's next wife or writing reports denigrating the IQs of immigrants, then it's Mardi Gras, Christmas and The Spanish Inquisition all in one!

It began with Benghazi, a place where 41 percent of Republicans are just positive bore witness to the worst scandal in American History--even if 39 percent of them can't find it on a map  (psst, 6 percent who think it's in Cuba, please stop talking). To end the suspense for the tri-corner hat and pajamas crowd, Benghazi is in Libya, yet to Republicans it's a rough translation of "Arkansas land deal." Which is to say, of course a tragedy occurred there that led to the death of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens. But this is all just a reanimation of the fake Whitewater investigation of President Bill Clinton in the mid-1990s.

That there's no "there" there is not a surprise in the days of a Republican Congressional Caucus full of more poop than a Carnival Cruise. We've come to expect this from cultists who treat attempts to provide people with as a potential Obama "Waterloo" (points to any Republican who has a clue where that is), whose chinless Senate leader sees his job not as making anyone's life remotely better, but trying to limit the President to one term (oops) and whose own members admit their colleagues oppose legislation just because the President is for it.

That's the Congressional GOP, filled with fringe lunatics and more unpopular  than a cold sore on Kim Jong Un. The only way they've retained power is through gerrymandered House districts and a Senate that allows Wyoming, which has roughly the same number of prairie dogs as people to enjoy equal representation to California. Which is roughly 65 times more populated.

So if you're these guys, i.e. completely amoral, care not a whit for your country and seek power at all costs, what do you do? You gin up scandal of course, and hope that even though people hate you, they might just hate the other guy more once you're done. This was the plan from the 90s with the impeachment of a popular Democratic President over sex, leading to just enough otherwise sane people to give Emperor Commodus their vote over Vice President Al Gore so the Supreme Court and butterfly ballots could deliver them the presidency.

In the current case, if the economy's good--as it looks to be, demographic change (see: white guys who think bacon grease is a salad dressing losing their voting clout) and a hugely popular figure in Secretary of State Hillary Clinton likely to run, there's almost no way the GOP can win. Unless they try and claim that she is somehow responsible for altered ABC emails, our military not being able to move with the haste of Iron Man and the Republican Party's gutting diplomatic security funding.

Additionally, it turns out Tea Party groups were singled out for scrutiny by the IRS. As were liberal groups. Yet liberal groups aren't filled with paranoid, Agenda 21-fearing numbskulls who live inside Glenn Beck's goatee. So a terribly corrupt campaign finance system nobody respects nor can fully understand, in addition to seriously bad judgment by the acting head of the IRS who has since been fired, is somehow an impeachable offense. The real scandal, the White House's obtaining phone records of calls by Associated Press reporters, is something President Obama's crew should be excoriated for, and investigated. But not by these Republicans, who have been going  all Amy and Samy Bouzaglo on the press since at least the time of Spiro Agnew, and couldn't care less.

What makes this all the more offensive is we lived through a crime wave not seen since Lucky Luciano during the Bush years, but truculent troll and accused car thief Rep. Darrell Issa never seemed to care for some reason. So perhaps during this witch hunt he could look into the 4,246 9/11 warnings ignored by Bush & Cheney (who kept us safe!) so 3,000 people could die on American soil. Or the lies surrounding our entry into a war in Iraq. Or Jessica Lynch, the firing of US Attorneys by Karl Rove for political reasons, the prostitution and drugs scandal at the Interior Department, George W. Bush's knowledge of torture, warrantless wiretapping, Pat Tillman, black sites, the outing of CIA Agent Valerie Plame by Karl Rove & Co., the failure to prepare for Katrina, George Bush's connection to Enron, Jeff Gannon, Mohammed Atta (not) in Prague, Dick Cheney's secret energy meetings, George W. Bush's IRS targeting Greenpeace and a liberal church in California, and everything else conveniently swept under a rug big enough to make Rand Paul's cranium jealous.
 

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© Copyright 2013 Cliff Schecter, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. For more info contact Cari Dawson Bartley at 800- 696-7561 or email cari@cagle.com.

Cliff Schecter is the President of Libertas, LLC, a progressive public relations firm, and the author of the 2008 bestseller “The Real McCain.” Email Cliff at cliffschecter@gmail.com.

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